Why We Talk to Ourselves and Why You Should Do it More Often
There are two types of people in the world. First there are the people to talk to themselves and second, there are liars. We often equate talking to ourselves as an exercise in insanity but yet we all do it. If you ask somebody if they talk to themselves and they quickly answer no then you are likely interacting with someone who is extremely insecure. And even though all of us are insecure the person that works very hard to hide it might be someone that you want to avoid.
Talking to yourself isn’t just normal. It’s healthy.
I make the argument the talking to yourself is not only normal but it’s healthy. Have you ever gone a long period of time without talking to yourself? Have you noticed how you feel when you give yourself the silent treatment? Have you ever noticed what happens in your head? The ego happens. It’s a type of tunnel vision where your perspective becomes narrowed.
Too many people don’t realize that their true enemy is their own ego. The ego is insecure. It has something to prove. It is your greatest doubter and your biggest critic. It convinces you that all the people around you are laser focused on your mistakes and flaws and criticizing you for them when the ego is in itself the real enemy. Many people go on the attack of others simply because they believe that they are acting in a sense of self-defense; they go on the attack because they believe they are the ones being attacked.
You’re not acting crazy when you talk to yourself because there are different parts of your consciousness. The human brain, as incredible as it is, is really two or three brains that are slapped together. Sometimes when we talk to ourselves it is an obvious demonstration showing different parts of the brain while it is power struggling with itself. Have you ever been in an intense argument with somebody that wasn’t there? Maybe it was your mother. Maybe it was your partner. But have you ever found yourself furious with them in the moment when they weren’t even there with you? This is really a case of your consciousness taking a familiar form while it power struggles with itself. Take a step back. Stop being angry with someone you care about when they haven’t done anything wrong.
Arguing with the ego creates frustration and anger. We literally fight with ourselves internally. If you show me in person who is extremely antagonistic and adversarial with the people around them I will place my personal guarantee that person has intense internal fights. In their mind they are defending themselves against internal critics and haters and so they project it into the world around them.
On the fringes of psychological theory and practice there is an exercise and a thinking experiment where people are encouraged to listen to themselves or listen instead to the other parts of their consciousness and consider what those parts of their consciousness have to say. Do yourself a favor and consider that your greatest enemy is actually your own ego convincing you that it’s somebody else. Ask the different parts of your consciousness questions and then listen honestly to what it has to say.
Try thinking about the ego is a scared child trying to figure itself out. It tries to anticipate danger I desperately wants to protect itself and so it acts out of a sense of frantic desperation. When you argue with the ego your mind will go around in circles. It will spin and spin and spin, sometimes endlessly.
Having integrity
When we engage in these intense arguments with ourselves and find a different parts of our consciousness and odds with each other it’s impossible to have integrity. We are internally fragmented and in pieces and it will reflect in our behavior. We will become a walking contradiction; a paradox of sorts. People will strsy away from us because they can’t get a good handle on the type of person that we are and in truth, we don’t know the answer to this either.
Try talking to yourself in a way, instead, as though you were having a friendly debate and discussion with a friend who has a different perspective to share. A perspective that’s worth considering. This will help us create an internal congruence. This is what gives us integrity. When we are no longer fragmented internally we will have integrity externally as well.
So talk to yourself openly and shamelessly but talk to yourself like you are your own friend. And don’t listen to the people that train say that this is an act of insanity. We all do it so that makes it normal. But I also make the argument that as long as it doesn’t hurt somebody else who cares if it’s crazy?
